I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
pray to the hookup gods
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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