sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
