oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
