JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
