its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
honey bunches of taint.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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