You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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