LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
