so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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