i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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