A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
