Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
