i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
