Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
