help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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