Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
