I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
