She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
did i just pee glitter
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
