this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
