your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
