Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
