whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
