whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
