just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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