Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
