It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
