I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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