are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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