she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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