IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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