I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
