i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
