It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
