I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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