I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
