I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
