you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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