Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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