I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
