If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
