At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
