I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
