i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
