The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
