You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
