I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
