So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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