He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
