Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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