Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
