Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
