just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
