i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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