I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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