Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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