the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
