How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
